Interview with My Friend, Liz
I got a chance to interview my friend, Liz, about Living Life after her battle with Cancer. There is something to say about hearing other people’s journeys to fight Cancer or any extended-term illness. I felt I should share with everyone the Q & A that we shared.
Q: When were you diagnosed, and what was your diagnosis?
Liz: I was diagnosed in September of 2015; I was officially diagnosed with Stage Three b Hodgkin’s Lymphoma
Q: What events led up to your diagnosis, or how did you discover that it was Cancer you were suffering from?
Liz: had a large lump in my armpit that my doctors and I had dismissed as Mastitis since February of that year. I weaned my youngest daughter in early summer, and it still wasn’t going away. I was given an ultrasound in late July, and by the end of the appointment, I already knew what was happening. The radiologist was very clearly concerned and wanted me to stay for a biopsy. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do it and needed to schedule it for a week and a half later. I went with my Mom to the biopsy, and the room was heavy from almost the beginning. While everyone was out of the room to let me change into a gown, I looked at my file as it was on the computer. The radiologist from the ultrasound said outright in his report he felt the growth in the lymph node was Cancer. Any other symptoms I had were masked because I was a mom to 4 young girls.
Q: How did you feel when you were first diagnosed?
Liz: Relief that the growth was taken seriously. And then concern, I couldn’t cry about it because I needed to plan. I needed to control the situation as much as possible. I planned for the absolute worst-case scenario and the absolute best.
Q: Who/what/where did you turn to?
Liz: My husband, my Mom, and my family. I talked to my friends as well but this type of news is really hard. Not everyone can deal with all of what comes with it, and I didn’t want to overwhelm people with everything.
Q: Obviously, Cancer puts your whole life on hold. Do you remember a specific moment when you were hit by this realization?
Liz: Oh, do I remember… I was at chemo #8 and I had a fever AGAIN. I had been in and out of the hospital for fevers more times than id like to admit. But the number one rule was to go to Emergency if you had a fever. This time I actually lost it. I sat on the stairs and cried and refused to move. It was 11 pm and I refused to call my parents to watch the kids AGAIN. Matt didn’t know what to do with me because normally I’m pretty logical and reasonable about this kind of stuff. I made myself an ice bath (do not do that – seriously it was a ridiculous idea) and brought the fever down. Then I went to bed and sweated it out the rest of the night, by morning, my fever was gone.
Q: How long were you in treatment?
Liz: My first treatment was on November 3 2015 and my last was April 5, 2016. I had chemo every two weeks – for a total of twelve treatments. Normally I would have had to go through at least six rounds of radiation as well but I responded very well to the chemo so I was able to avoid that.
Q: What helped keep your spirits up and gave you support during this period?
Liz: People. I started listing off everyone and everything that helped and I got to the fourth paragraph and still had more to go. Family and Friends – church people – strangers were just amazing. They donated money, time, energy, food, skills. It was just amazingly overwhelming. I often say that I have the best story of love and community there is to share.
Q: How did you choose to share your diagnosis with your children?
Liz: My oldest girls were in grade two – we were very honest with them from the very beginning. We explained it all and the entire process, there were a lot of questions over the whole process and we answered them as best as we could. We very much utilized the school with them and asked for the councillor to talk with them. Their teacher was also incredible and was very involved from the beginning all the way to the end. My younger girls were four and two, they didn’t understand any of it so we included them in the conversations and simplified it by saying I was very sick.
Q: What was your biggest parenting challenge during cancer treatment and into survivorship?
Liz: I was so tired, all the time and for much longer after treatment was done. I did a lot of parenting from my chair. I’m sad that yelling to get their attention became common. We also stayed home so much, thankfully the majority of my treatment was over winter. Matt really had to step up to be the entertainment in the house and to do the winter activities with them.
Q: What kinds of things did you do to distract yourself when you were going through treatments (either at home or at the hospital… Or both)?
Liz: At the hospital, I was given drugs to manage the allergic reaction that the chemo gave me, I could maybe get through a few games of cards with my Mom and then I usually fell asleep. I would get up occasionally to go to the washroom and then would fall asleep again. At home, from my chair, I watched a lot of TV. If I could handle it, I read a lot of books. Unfortunately, my hands couldn’t handle my normal hobby of crocheting. I slept so much though, three naps a day was not uncommon.
Q: What do you like to do in your spare time?
Liz: Right now – I’m on several different Community Boards in my area. That keeps me very busy! I still crochet when my hands allow me to, I love to paint as well!
Q: What did others close to you do for you that made a difference?
Liz: I honestly can’t even list it; the list is that huge. I didn’t have to worry about anything – from my kids, to my home, to money, to food. Everything was taken out of my hands and done so I could focus on getting better. I can’t say enough how instrumental that was
Q: How did you overcome your fears of treatments? Of side effects? Of the possibility of death?
Liz: I was told very early on that my chances of survival were very high. But the fear of the side effects was so abstract at the time I couldn’t focus on it. It felt so foreign to be thinking in the context of several years. I wish I had spent a little more time talking about it and asking questions – but hindsight is 20/20.
Q: Where are you now in your journey with Cancer?
Liz: I am four years in remission.
Q: Now that you are a survivor, how are you living your life differently and why?
Liz: This is a hard question to answer because I am in a very different place in my life. My children are older so I have the freedom to pursue what I want in life in terms of my volunteer work and hopefully a career. What has significantly changed in my tolerance for what I allow in my life, I cherish the time I have and I won’t put things in it anymore that take away from the joy. Whether it’s relationships or something else, I recognize that I was given a chance for something different and I want to pursue it.
Q: What “words of wisdom” and/or advice would you give any young adult facing Cancer or another life-threatening illness?
Liz: *There is NO SUCH THING AS A “GOOD CANCER”.
*Don’t be scared of reaching out for therapy, this type of debilitating and life-changing illness can really screw with your head and I think it’s important to recognize that your mental health is as important as your physical health. I wish that I had listened to that advice earlier and maybe I could have avoided some pain.
* People will have all kinds of advice and suggestions for how to fight disease. Take it all with a grain of salt. There is always a place for natural medicines but your doctors need to know so they can tell you what’s factual and what’s not, and also if there will be interactions.
*If you aren’t in a place where you can trust your doctor then you need to ask for another one – you need to be able to trust that your doctor will listen to you and hear what you are saying and not just treat the surface stuff.
* Advocate for yourself! If you can’t – always get someone to come with you to appointments to help be that advocate!
I am blessed and grateful for this understanding that everyone has a story to tell. And I got to hear it from someone who has been through it and come out the other side better and stronger.
Thanks Liz!
Make sure to read all my posts on Living Life after Cancer!
